This is the start to the blog post I’ve wanted to write, thought about writing, practiced saying out loud, and have never wanted to write. This is the start to the blog post of a season that I’ve cried about, prayed though, sought council for, discovered new things about myself in, questioned God’s goodness in, and have experienced some of the hardest and sweetest things in my life with the Lord in. Yes, all these feelings can be about the same thing. And if you know me, you know they often do all go together.
Break ups suck. Can we start there? There’s nothing Hollywood romantic-like about them. The grief in them is so unpredictable. One day I’m great and the next I’m crying because of a SONG LYRIC. The routine of having someone to talk with all the time is now an emptiness that can make you super needy for communication. The loss of a dream is just that: a loss. And losses take time to get over.
I read a very honest blog post called I thought I would marry him by Hanna Seymour and it really encouraged me to write my own.
I’m incredibly confident that at different points in our lives, we all experience brokenness. Right now, I’m feeling broken due to a dream that was lost. Next year I may be broken over something else. It’s part of life and a reality of living in a fallen world. BUT THERE IS HOPE. Hope that goes beyond the hurt that I, and I’m sure some of you, am experiencing now. I’m also equally confident that you know someone that’s experiencing brokenness. Let’s love each other and encourage one another in our pain. Here are some practical ways we can be loving each other:
- Send a card. My goodness I can’t explain how special cards have been for me this year. It doesn’t take so long, but it means the world to someone that’s hurting, especially when they’ve gone through a major life transition. Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. Proverbs 12:25
- Accomplish a project. Whether it’s going to Ikea to pick out a new pillow for the couch, using a new recipe and going to the store to get the ingredients, picking out a paint color, or crossing something off a bucket list, do it and do it together. When someone is going through heart ache, starting and finishing a project feels incredibly satisfying. It also takes your mind off the hurt!
- Say you’ll pray for them and actually pray for them. Something that helps me remember to pray for others is having specific prayer days. Monday is Slovenia, Tuesday is Family, etc. Have a friend day and pray for your friends that are going through a rough season. Also, send them a text that lets them know you’re praying.
- Be a good listener. My best friend Kristin got married to her Matthew this last June, about 2 months after my relationship ended. She was (AND IS!) the most beautiful example of how to rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (Romans 12:15) We used this phrase a lot when I came home. She was mourning with my loss, but we were rejoicing in her marriage. In these last 10 months of me being home, she has been such a good listener. She lets me talk and cry about the same thing 17 times in a row. Then she speaks truth into my craziness. It’s a beautiful thing.
- Carry your friends to Jesus. Mark 2 tells the story of the friends who literally carried their paralyzed friend to Jesus to be healed. Verse 2 says: When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”
When Jesus saw THEIR faith. Oh man, what a beautiful picture of community. Sometimes hurting people can’t make sense of what they’re thinking or believing about themselves or their situation. Carry them to Jesus. Cry with them. Pray with them. Rejoice and Mourn.
I am so thankful to say that I’ve had many people in my life do all these things with me. It has been SUCH a painful season, but a huge thing is that I’ve had people walk with me. May we be these type of people to our friends and family that are hurting.